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| Sketch 9 Conduit Street London, W1S 2XG |
Overpriced and undercooked.
When dining, it is easy to fall for what psychologists refer to as the ‘Halo Effect’ whereby a positive impression in one area is generalized to an object/person/venues entirety. We very nearly made this mistake with Sketch.
When dining, it is easy to fall for what psychologists refer to as the ‘Halo Effect’ whereby a positive impression in one area is generalized to an object/person/venues entirety. We very nearly made this mistake with Sketch.
Referring to itself as
‘A sophisticated, exclusive & luxurious Michelin star dining room’,
expectations were high but once we stepped into the building our expectations
rose even further.
As always, Jamelia
couldn’t resist a peek in the toilets, which for us, is always a good indication
of the cleanliness and quality of the food to come; and to date, this analogy
hasn’t failed us yet! The toilets elevate you
into a futuristic artistic sanctuary. Lured up pearly white stairs into an all
white open space, the area filled with oversized white eggs (pods), which form individual
toilets. With the potential of feeling slightly claustrophobic, you are put at
ease by the sounds of nature inside each pod. The cosmic style bathrooms, cave like bar
and 1930s ‘esque’ dinner lounge all set the pace for what was promising to be a
great experience.
After 25 minutes, we
were shown to our table by a very over the top waiter who could not sense our
hungry and grumpy energy. His comments any other day could have been considered
banter however based on our mood this evening, we just were not interested.
Starters
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| Twice-baked haddock soufflé, |
The menu was not the
most exciting, especially considering the venue amenities; we were starting to
question whether this was the right place for a birthday celebration for young
professionals accustomed to casual dining at reasonable prices. We were already
sensing the ‘it’s about the experience’ tagline.
We opted for a “Twice-baked
haddock soufflé, sauerkraut, grapes, Colman’s mustard butter”. One word –
awful; Trying to fit in - mistake number 1.
This dish was basically
jellified eggs with a strange mustard butter on top of fish. The texture was
enough to disengage Jamelia who refused to even taste it. The haddock was cold
and barely enough to fill the gap but at £16, we were not willing to throw it
away altogether.
Mains
Jamelia was in the mood
for the very basic Fish and Chips - can’t go wrong right? Well she did! Admittedly,
had she paid more attention to the menu, she would have noticed the mention of
‘straw potatoes’ to accompany ‘Pollock, heart of iceberg lettuce, mushy peas
and tartar sauce’.
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| Grilled Organic Salmon |
This aside, it is understandable that when she ordered Fish
and Chips she didn’t expect ‘Fish and Straw’ aka wafer like intertwined fried
straw potatoes. Although very pretty, the architecture of the potato used a skill
you would expect to see used on a dessert dish, not as an integral part of a
main. The fish was pretty much two fish fingers delivered in a very arty
traditional newspaper cone arrangement.
Looking around at
surround tables portion sizes, Candace planned ahead for hunger satisfaction
reasons and ordered Grilled Organic Salmon with a side a mashed potatoes. The ’Grilled
organic salmon, perfumed with pink berries, bouquet of leek, shrimp and smoked
salmon, Chablis Dijon-mustard coated new potatoes with dill’ was a lot more substantial
but for £25, one would hope so!
Overall Experience
Look but don’t touch.
On appearance, Sketch is
a haven for creatives, its subtle designs, classic art pieces and distinctive
sharp sarcastic drawings and text by British Artist David Shrigley make for a
wonderful venue for functions/cocktail dates.
Call us common, but
irrespective of venue standard, it’s not normal practice or acceptable to wait
over an hour for a first course to then be served bitesize portions with little
to no flavour. Advocates for quality over
quantity but on this occasion, Sketch lacked both!
WOM Spits and Chews:
Spits
- Portion sizes
- Lack of flavour
- Waiting time
Chews
- The venue
- Our company!
Overall WOM Rating: 2 kisses out of 5
Verdict? SPIT :(
Verdict? SPIT :(
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